Monday, January 9, 2012

Long Weeks

Sometimes it seems like a week will never end. Going to classes, working around 30 hours, being in and out of ER's with your roommates, and trying to maintain a relationship with your roommates, friends, and boyfriend, all while attempting to have some time for yourself can be exhausting. So exhausting that it's Monday and you realize you just spent an entire week moving so non-stop that you didn't notice a full week had gone by. Sitting behind a cash register, nursing your first of several cups of coffee, you relish the moment of calm and try to find some moments that God was present in the craziness of the past 7 days. You realize that the trips to the hospital all ended with everyone's loved ones returning home. You realize that even a simple, insignificant gesture can change the way someone thinks. You realize that while emotionally you have been struggling, physically you are doing okay, and even the psychological warfare you managed to wage against yourself is nothing compared to that of those you've known in the past. You realize that no matter how long you go without talking to loved ones, no matter how hurt any of them might be, they will always be there for you, and you for them, because they are the people you need to have in your life- and He knows that. You have all these revelations, thinking back on the "week from hell" you've just endured when the rest of campus was out partying, and you write the word 'blog' on your palm, hoping you will remember to write before it washes off.
Then, before you know it, your shift ends. You leave the building, intending to check out the latest sale merchandise on campus, and you run into someone you haven't seen much of this year. He looks as beat-down as you do. He asks, but no you haven't heard about this weekend. You think you may have read something vague, but you were wrapped up in your own life. Now you realize what you've missed. She's gone. Someone so loved by so many, now gone forever. Suddenly all of your problems vanish, just for a moment, while you try to figure out what to do next. It won't hit you until hours later, sitting at your desk. Even as you move on to all the things that need to be done before you go to sleep tonight, her beautiful face will be in your mind, laughing, singing, walking down the hallway, surviving until she just couldn't hold on anymore. And now and then other faces will show up as well. Is this how He wants to remind you to pay more attention to those you care about? Slow down and breathe once in a while? Perhaps. More likely, it was just about the time He needed his next angel, and you couldn't ask for many better ones than her. Through all her pain and suffering, whether she intended to or not, she was a light for her community and will not be forgotten.

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